I’m 23 but I’ve never been asked out on a date.. Is this normal?


I’m a 23 year old girl that is currently in grad school with intentions of going into medical school once I’m done. Recently, I’ve noticed that alot of people around me are talking about relationships. Perhaps its just the age range that I’m in, but it’s making me very self-conscious because I…

OMG… we have so much in common! I’m 22, will be turning 23 next month, and still haven’t been on a date before. But I think it has something to do with the fact that I have attended an all women’s college for the past 4.5 years. Plus, because of my major and school being so difficult I haven’t had any time to go anywhere. I choose to major in chemistry (CH) because I love how challenging it is, and it wasn’t until after my second internship (which I completed this past summer) that I realized how much I know about the science. I plan to go to grad. school, and am currently contemplating whether or not to pursue an M.D./Ph.D.

Guys of all ages stare at me all the time and it bothers me that none of them who are my age ever say anything to me. I know I’m attractive because I have received compliments from older men about my looks, which is kind of creepy because people also tell me that I look much younger than I really am (that is when they find out my real age). Which leads me to yet another reason why they may not ask me out, because I look to young.

In high school, one of my male peers asked me on several occasions to be his girlfriend, but because he was a player I consistently declined. Since then the only person who has shown any verbal interest was a guy I grew up with in church. Who initially asked me for my number because as he said he wanted to “take me out sometime”. We talked on the phone everyday for a week, and when he didn’t call me the second week I assumed it was because he ended up being intimidated. Because, like you, I am a very ambitious person.

Wish I had an answer to your question, but the truth of the matter is that I too have the same problem. Sorry for the length of my response, but I wanted to explain some of the factors I believe have contributed to my situation in an effort to help you think about some of your own. Also, when I read the information about you I got excited because its very rare for me to find someone that I have so much in common with. I do think our situations are rare in today’s society but we shouldn’t be ashamed, instead we should be commended for having “strong heads on our shoulders”. Hopefully someday we both will find men who like us for who we are.

Props to you girl for working hard, and I wish you the best 🙂

I don’t think it is abnormal. You have goals and being in a relationship may not be what you need to fulfill them. When you are ready and in a responsible position I think you will find that others will know. It could be that since you are obviously a driven person that guys pick up on that and are intimidated. Look at all the people on here who have gotten into trouble with relationships and have no focus for their lives.

You’re only 23 and have a lot of time in the future for relationships. There’s nothing saying you can’t have some fun and date in a non-serious way. If guys are too intimidated to ask you then maybe you could try going out with a group or asking a guy out as a friend just to see what you think of the experience.

Do not worry about it! It is not abnormal at all, no. Studying is your main goal at the moment, keep going for it. Keep learning to get where you want to achieve – not many people have this attitude and achieve their goals, but it sounds like you are strong enough to do this! No man will be able to help you pass your exams and get you the dream job. They will only be able to hold you back and distract you from your studies. I’m very sure that when you qualify, you will be so pleased that you didn’t mess about with guys at school and will soon bump into the man of your dreams. You have soooo much time ahead of you for guys. Just enjoy being young without any really stresses or overheads. Good luck 🙂 xx

“and to be honest, I’m so preoccupied with my studies right now that I don’t have the time to even think about these things”

That’s your issue right there. Your focused on something that your trying to accomplish and maybe seem unapproachable to men.
You may come across as your not interested in anyone, it’s the energy that you give off.
You shouldn’t look for someone to ask you out, if you really want to go out on a date maybe you should ask a guy and if your too shy just let it go and see what happens.
Things always tend to happen when your not looking for them.

It’s normal. YOU are normal. Even in college we face peer pressure, don’t let it get to you. If they want to date then let them be but set your goals and stick to them, you will have time when the time is right and one day mr. right someone mature with your goals, direction, calling, beliefs will come your way in the right season you will know. Nothing is best than dating the right person, falling in love and marrying when you’re both ready. Enjoy life and don’t worry, you are normal. It’s just the right guy has not come along your path, maybe for a reason. I’m sure you’ll be a great doctor.

you’ve got plenty of time, and congrats on your accomplishments!!! 🙂 those will sustain you a lot longer than any guy will!

answer – in this day and age, I’ve seen that not many guys your age ask girls out on real dates – they mostly go for the girls who pursue them (but I know several couples my age who got divorced because the girl pursued them and the guy never really wanted to get married in the first place!) I guess so many girls are hooking up with guys that some won’t even pay for dates anymore!

could be that you’ve been so absorbed in your studies that you haven’t been around many guys to socialize, etc.? maybe just smile at a guy when you’re interested in him and maybe he’ll strike up a conversation and ask you out! good luck! 🙂

Well 23 isn’t super old to not have dated but it is uncommon. Thats still young enough for it to be considered smart though and not freakish or prudish :). I had a good friend in College who was 21 the first time he kissed a girl, and he was GORGEOUS and popular and all that, he just had been busy. I wouldnt stress unless you’re lonely.

ummm… no… no it’s not… i’m 14 and i have been asked out a couple times before… but maybe you should ask a guy out? relax and put yourself out there! the right guy is bound to come around some time, right? but until then it’s cool that your focused on your studies! just remember to have fun!

Many guy would like a girl like you. Like one of those guys is me. Just be yourself and someone out there will ask you out. Just have patient. For example I found love till when I was in my late 25

everyone is different. don’t stop yourself if you feels something for a guy. you should not jump into relationships with a person that you are not interested. when you are emotionally ready and mee t with a right guy, you will experience it. however you don’t need to wait until your studies are done, you only need to wait until you feel emotionally ready for a relationship.

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