My boyfriend and I were discussing and i told him that i firmly believe in marriage and he asked what the difference was between a marriage and a long term committed relationship. Aside from the legal issue, i told him that a marriage was evidence of that committment. Any thoughts? I know what i want to say, but…
The differences between marriage and a long term committed relationship are many. Here’s a few.
-When married, you are legally recognized as a couple by law.
-When married, you cannot just “decide” to break up, you need a Judge to allow you to break up and you must divorce.
-Marriage shows a much larger depth of commitment than just saying you’re “committed.” It’s pledging yourself to your spouse for the rest of your life.
Hope this helps. 🙁 Good luck!
And by the way just a thought – you shouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t want to marry you.
Why don’t you look around you and see how many divorced people there are. What evidence of commitment is that? If your husband beat you every day would you stay because you vowed “until death do us part”? No you bloody well would not. So the people out there was say marriage is for life, GET REAL.
Women of today are more financially stable than of the women of the 70’s, 60’s, 50’s, 40’s etc and they no longer have to put up with being treat like unpaid slaves in their households. Women have loads more job opputinities than back then and they do not have to rely on a man for a roof over her head and food in her stomach. I believe that’s why divorce is so common because women don’t have to put up the s!!t any more.
I was commited to my man for 21 years without getting married and may I add he wanted to marry me but he understood I viewed marriage as ownership and he didn’t love me any less.
Does buying a house in joint names not show the same level of commitment?
Apart from the legal side of things marriage is over rated in my opinion.
The difference : a piece of paper stating we can legally love each other, if we had sex it would no longer be fornication (religiously) and now we can share a name. Likely, I’ll get thumbs down for that, but I don’t care. My partner and I have been together 12 years. There is no more commitment in a married person’s relationship than in our’s. None whatsoever. In fact, from a lot of questions I see on here, our long term committed relationship is healthier and happier and a whole lot more solid than a heck of a lot of socially recognized unions (read marriages). We love each other. Neither of us feel the need to legalize that love or sign a document saying what we already know in our hearts to be true.
>>>>>why is the first answer all in caps? Do you not realize it is considered yelling when typing in forums? Know what I do with posts that are all caps? Skip them entirely.
>>>>>Ms. Caps, would you like to buy a clue?
Marriage is the public announcement of a commitment between two people. The ceremony itself isn’t as important as the fact that two people are solidifying the compact between them. Marriage is also a legal contract. Two unmarried people don’t have the same rights to division of property in event of separation. But ultimately, the legal and social act of marriage is a contract between two people to commit to each other. Just like when you rent an apartment or hire a contractor to do work around your house, without a written contract (marriage license) neither party is bound to any kind of rules and you don’t have as much recourse in a court of law.
In a “committed” relationship, he can pick up and walk away any time he wants. In a marriage, he has to answer to the courts if he breaks the contract. In marriage there is an insurable interest. You share everything. In the committed relationship, what is his is his and what is yours is yours. If you want to get married and he doesn’t, find a man who does. How simple do you want it.
Well…it isn’t THE legal issue, but rather MANY legal ISSUES, from personal property rights to who has the right to pull the plug to what happens to your children; so don’t minimize the legal ramifications…..
If you want to apply a broad brush to the question….there is no difference from a commitment standpoint other than those who are willing to be connected to another with the bond of marriage are saying to the world that this decision is a final one……
Whether that ends up to be true or not is about 50-50.
If a man loves you enough, he has the feeling that he wants to protect you and take care of you permanently. Marriage is that kind of a committment. It means that even if something happens to one or the other that you will be taken care of through the legal aspect of marriage. Marriage means that you respect each other and believe in your true love for another person.
To me, a committed relationship means I’ll be there as long as everything is going well and life is good and I feel like it. But marriage means I care enough about you to stay through thick or thin, richer or poorer, and in sickness and health.
When you marry someone it show you truly are committed to them and it’s not just words because people who are just saying they are committed and don’t mean it are scared to legally obligate themselves. This defense of it’s just a piece of paper is a classic sign of a person who is all talk.
WELL, SEEING AS HOW PEOPLE THESE DAYS HAVE DNWPLAYED MARRIAGE SO MUCH, IT’S HARD TO TELL YOUR STORY!!!
I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. MARRIAGE IS THE BIGGEST SIGN OF DEVOTION, SECURITY, AND COMMITMENT YOU CAN MAKE TO ONE PERSON…
THE PROBLEM IS THAT SOME ONLY SEE IT AS A PEICE OF PAPER…
THE PROBLEM IS REALLY WITH SOCIETY.. AS A WHOLE, THE DIVORCE RATE IS SKY HIGH, AND PEOPLE START TO THINK… WHY MAKE THAT COMMITMENT IF THE ODDS ARE AGAINST ME, WHEN I CAN BE JUST AS FAITHFUL, DEVOTED, AND COMMITTED AS JUST HER LONG TERM COMMITED RELATIONSHIP….
BUT HERE’S THE THING.. AND THIS IS REALLYALL THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID… “MARRIAGE IS IMPORTANT TO ME. I’VE ALAYS DREAMED OF GETTING MARRIED… ”
AND REALLY.. YOU CAN TURN THE QUESTION BACK ON HIM… IF HE FEELS THAT HE DOESN’T WANT MARRIAGE.. THEN SAY “WHATS TH DIFFERENCE? IF YOU SEE NONE THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ITS IMPORTANT TO ME, AND TAKE THAT STEP”
THE DIFFERENCE IS NOT JUST A PEICE OF PAPER [[6OFUS]] IT SIGNIFIES SO MUCH MORE…
SOME COUPLE ARE CONTENT WITH STAYING TOGETHER UNMARRIED FOR LIFE.. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT
THE PROBLEM COMES WHEN THE 2 HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS….
JUST BECAUSE HE IS WARY OF MARRIAGE.. DONT TAKE IT AS A SIGN THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY YOU, OR NEVER WOULD.. AFTER ALL HE IS A MAN, AND MEN ARE SCARY INDIVIDUALS WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE… =) NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT EITHER.. UNLESS HE FLAT OUT TELLS YOU THAT HE WONT EVER GET MARRIED.. ID BE PATIENT WITH HIM… AND SEE WHERE IT TAKES YOU… “COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY”
PEOPLE WHO CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT TYPING IN CAPS MEANS IM “YELLING” SPENDS WAY TOO MUCH TIME AND PUTS TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THE KEYBOARD AND COMPUTER…
SERIOUSLY I TYPE IN CAPS BECAUSE I LIKE TO.. I KEEP CAPS ON ALL THE TIME…
AND OVER LOOK? LOL.. I REALLY COULDNT CARE LESS IF YOU READ MY POSTS…… LOL OR LIKE THEM FOR THAT MATTER.. IM HERE TO ANSWER HER QUESTION.. AND I DONT THINK SHE OVER LOOKED IT JUST BECAUSE ITS ALL CAPS… FROM READING THE OTHER ANSWERS… MY ADVICE SEEMS TO BE THE MOST HONEST….