My husband has a porn addiction?


He has a porn addiction. ever since i have known him which is 8 years. it used to be so bad that he would look at it all day and masturbate to it. we were ot married but expecting a baby on the way. we would fight constantly and we eventually split up and he kicked me out of the house cause I would not stop…

Get the guy into a program or cut him loose.

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Watch with him? Use it to make your sex life with your husband better? OR let it ruin your marriage! ! ! ! AN ADDICTION = Choosing to do it over regular daily activities! SO if he is missing work and spending all the money on porn and doesn’t leave the house except to purchase new porn THEN he might have an addiction! My guess? He enjoys it! He isn’t “addicted” to it. Just so it wouldn’t be my opinion I looked up the Websters Definition: “to devote or surrender oneself to something habitually or obsessively” SO has he “devoted and surrendered” to porn yet? I like the guy below who says it is a “habit” I think that is more accurate with men and porn! ! They are not addicted it is just a habit and if it annoys the wife they should attempt to kick the habit! ! ! Just my opinion but don’t use ADDICTION

Okay this post screams of dysfunction. Your huisband has an addiction that is so incredibly disrespectful to you and your family. he should never have a laptop, computer or any access to porn.
That is like waving bags of heroin in front of a heroin addict.
PLEASE do NOT have more children with him!!!
Addictions get worse with time and I can tell 9from reading your post)_ just how manipulative and desperate he is for porn. he is begging you for it?? he should be begging you to NOT leave him for his behaviopr.
Whether or not you are on your period has absolutely NOTHING to do with him continuing his addictive behaviopr.
he is a very sick addict and unkless and until he gets serious help I , personally, would leave his sorry a**.
If the tables were turned, and you were doing this to him–how long do you think he would put up with this crap???
And you have children together???
What he wants is wrong. 100% wrong. And he is trying to bully you, manipulate you, etc to continue being a porn addict.
he will not change until he is ready and it sounds like he will never want to.
he has absolutely NO repsect for you–your kids nor your kids.

This is an addiction, but this is an extremely complicated issue, as many relationship questions are. You already have 2 kids: why more when things are not going smoothly for you both? If the addiction is not hurting his life hard enough he may not see the need to change. It will probably be most effective if he found a therapist he liked that would help him understand the addiction and how it is harmful to himself (which he doesnt realize) and to the rest of the family. A father should not be preoccupied with porn, bottom line.

This is his own fault. Maybe you should tell him that looking at porn is adultery. JEsus said that if you lust in your heart you have committed adultery. Maybe he needs to go to therapy. Talk to his parents. Let people know about it. Or if all else fails do it to him. That’s the only way most men learn. Don’t give him sex. It seems he wants a relationship with his computer and not with you.

What you describe, is an addiction — no different than an addiction to alcohol, drugs or gambling. It has nothing to do with you or how your husband feels about you. When he needs a “fix”, like a drug addict, nothing is more important to him and he is not in control. When he is in a calm period and regretting his behavior, he promises to not do it again — and he means it. But his brain has been rewired to need the chemical rush that porn is providing to him. It is too strong a need for him to use simple willpower to overcome.
You describe a situation that is very difficult for you. What you have to remember and tell yourself is that it is not about you or because of you and you can not take responsibility for his problem. The desire to recover has to come from him. It is possible that as long as you comply (by continuing your life with him as though it is ok), he can not find the motivation to change. But perhaps by talking about it — and not using judgmental language that can lead to a fight — you can help him get motivated. Explain why you are unhappy, why you would like him to stop and what could happen if he does not stop. Don’t threaten. Just remember that you have the right to be happy and living with an addict does not lend itself to happiness.
Right now, he is in a bad spot. You can’t expect too much from him — like to stop because he loves you. What is reasonable to expect is that he will admit he has a problem and he will agree to seek help. He probably requires counseling. Here are a few concrete suggestions:

1. Ask him to take this porn addiction test as a good place to start the discussion and to recognize the seriousness of the problem: http://www.optenetpc.com/blog/porn-addic…

2. Ask him to agree that porn has no place in your home. You can install a porn filter on each of your computers. Try this one for free: http://www.optenetpc.com/porn-filter.htm…

3. Try to get him to discuss his own feelings about it — is he enjoying it? Does he feel in control? Would he like to stop but can’t? Is it worse on certain days? Does he feel bad after? Don’t be aggressive – be supportive and encourage him to talk.

3. Ask him to consider counseling for porn addiction. If he is hesitant or embarrassed, consider starting with online counseling — it is sometimes easier than committing to face-to-face meetings and can be much less expensive. Check out the counselors here: http://www.internet-addiction-guide.com/

I used to have a problem with porn and I finally looked at myself and started realize how desisting of a habit it was. Once I told myself I did in fact have a problem I started to stop. At first like any drug it is hard to quit, but after you are off of it, you can start to focus on everything else. And now I feel much better.

It seems like he needs to realize he does in fact have a problem.

Porn: television shows, articles, photographs, etc., thought to create or satisfy an excessive desire for something, especially something luxurious.

Your husband is watching porn because 1) he is not sexually satisfied and craves something fantasy like. 2) It makes him happy, meaning it sends dopamine to his brain and makes him feel happy for only moments so he craves more. I deem number 2 is more likely to happen to him. If you want him to stop you need to make him realize it is a problem. Make him feel guilty, or ashamed of what he is doing. Not only is he ruining your sex life but he is ruining his.

Porn is designed to make you crave something you cant have. Ask him this “Don’t you ever feel empty after masturbating to porn? As if you have no interest in it anymore? You know why you feel that way, it is because it is a fantasy they are actors and you are their puppet. It is designed to make you want more”

Dare him to go a month without porn. If he cant tell him how disgusting he is for doing it and if he loves you and his kids he will quit. Now don’t just expect him to stop watching it. You must help him through it. Keep him busy with activities. This only wont just help him get off porn it will help your marriage. Do activities together for example go to a gym, book club, plan a trip. Or even get the kids involved, and do family activities.

It takes the body one week to adapt a habit and six months to break one.
That means you have to keep him off porn for six months for him not to crave it any longer. And during those six months find a healthier alternative.

I hope this helps, and if it does not work maybe you do need to leave him and find someone who does care, about your needs too. But I do give you that advice as a last resort don’t leave him until you have tried everything, put in effort to help your love life and his, and if it does not put in effort to stop then leave him with his disgusting porn.

I just want to say I’ve had this problem with my hubby for five yes now. He promised me before we moved in together it wouldn’t be a problem yet everyday I feel inadequate because of his problem. Its a terrible feeling and I sympathize with all women dealing with this issue. Every time I find it he says it wont happen again and it always does even if he has to tear out one single pic and hide it in a coat pocket! I know I’m pathetic for not. leaving him as he knows I am very offended by porn but I just can’t bring myself to leave someone I love over something it seems he can’t control.

i havethe oslution to his problem. i will be pointing you to it.

first understand that he is not doing this against you ata ll.
that is not his intention.
i know it affects him sexually so he is not able to be sexual with you when he does watse his energyu on masturbation with porn.

but you have to be understanding of what is actually going on, if you want to getto the core problem and solve it.
he would have to solve it. when he wants to, when he is ready. meanwhile he can be taught how others are tricking him mentally. meaning manipulating his mind. and that wil get him interested in looking into the information to further free himself. while he is working o himself he HAS TO LOOK AT PORN, otherwise he will not go indepth and , he needs to look at various sexual presentations to allow him to decipher the tricks they are using. that is why i want you to read the book as well. so you know exactly what is involved and what he will need to do.

ok here is me pointing you to the answer:

You’re fortunate to get this info which points to the solution. its for everyone. So, a. Tell others the true nature of the problem, b. point them to the solution. c. Tell them to do these three steps a b & c

The true nature of the problem:
various sexual presentations are filled with numerous mind altering manipulations which impact the mind very strongly. The viewer has no chance to defend against these powerful manipulations. he is delivered a very powerful mental high, which because of the sexual subject matter he experiences as a very powerful sexual high. The book reveals the mind manipulation techniques, it explains how the mind works, and details how to free the mind from their cunning deceptions.

read the book, and have him read it too. you will then understand that he does not mean to be neglecting you but his mind is just POWERFULLY CONTROLLED to go after experiencing this phenomenal pleasure.

do not allow your partnership dislove because of other people’s manipualation upon your partner’s mind. he does not know why he is affected SO POWERFULLY, but he is. and its important for him to come out of the dark LEARN ALL THIS STUFF and free himself.

I would say good luck, but i know you don’t need it, you both need good understanding.

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