My daughter who is 14 1/2 going on 30, had a really nice palm centro phone. Within three months after purchase, she began complaining about how she wished she’d gotten another model, next time she’ll get a “yada yada” phone…I’ve been paying 5.00 a month on top of unlimited texting fees, for…
It is hard for parents to do this, but i did the same to my daughter who is the same age. She was talking to her BF on the phone at all hours of the night. I would not allow her to have texting on the phone so that is not an issue for her. And she is not talking to multiple boys, and she is not leaving the house in the middle of the night. I think that what your daughter is doing can be some pretty risky behavior and you need to take that cell phone away for at least a month – then when you give it back tell he it has to be turned in at night before bed time and that it is your phone not her’s so if you want to inspect at anytime she needs to give it up. Once trust is broken it needs to be earned back not given.
EDIT – punishing our children is always hard on the parents – but we have to be very proactive about stopping bad behaviour when it happens not matter how bad we are feeling about it.
Why don’t you just buy her a really cheap phone that is for emergencies only, do a Pas-As-You-Go type of thing, and only allow her to use it when she’ll be out of the house for more than an hour or so. Do not allow her to carry it around to school, her friend’s houses, etc.
As for punishment (if that doesn’t seem like enough to you) take away her computer (if she has one) for a week or something along those lines. Obviously her behavior cannot be condoned and she has to learn her lesson! The next time she wants a nice phone, tell her too bad! When she’s finally mature enough, make sure she knows that 100% of the bills are coming out of her pocket.
When I first read that, I thought I said ‘I have a sophisticated 14yr old’ than when I got to the ‘emo’ jeans part I was like ‘SOPHISTICATED MY ***!’ but that’s not what it said, so I went back and re-read it properly and now understand why you are talking about a phone being taking and not a sophisticated daughter!
Umm anyway, I think the main reason she trashed it is because she wants a new one. I’m no 14yr old, I’m 18 lol! But I have a 14yr old male cousin who is as wild as they come, he could get a gig on jackass if he wanted to his that feral and obnoxious, his phone is no where near like that, it’s almost brand knew and his had if for about 2years! Your daughter has probably deliberately trashed it.
As for her texting and calling.. it’s what they do. I would have put a restriction on the phone when I brought it so no calls could go out or come in after say 9pm. I’d also get an alarm system on that house! He escaping is harmless fun now, just wait til she’s older and is escaping on different terms.
I don’t think I would of taken it off her, but if you think it’s a good way to parent her behaviour, which you find absolutely not acceptable, than so be it. Or I would sit her down and talk to her about it and tell her if you catch her treating the phone like crap, reading ‘those’ types of msgs again, than you’ll take the phone and she’ll never see it again. This time, give it back and give her a warning for it. If it happens again, make it 2nd strike and you’re out. She went without a phone for 14yrs of her life with type1 diabetes, I’m sure she can go another 2 until she’s 16 and knows how to treat things with respect.
Speaking as an older teenager, I can see both sides of this situation. I believe that the compromise is that you sit down and set rules. But don’t make the rules too harsh (like burning the thing :D) Also, if there were some inappropriate texts you should really bring that up in a conversation. But be sure to let her know that its because you care about her and her health and safety.
As for the state that the phone is in, she’s a teenager. We drop our phones all the time because we’re clumsy. Maybe she’s trying to make you get that new phone for her, so just tell her that that’s her phone for another year and if it breaks then she’s without a phone. She’ll take better care of it then 😀
Also, it is possible to go through your cell company and have them put time restrictions on your daughter’s phone. They can also block specific numbers. Just go to your local cell store and they will show you all of the services they offer and I believe that they’re all free 😀
Kids are getting expensive items way too soon these days, so they don’t appreciate them. It’s our fault as parents. If you want your daughter to have a phone for her diabetes you could get her one of those phones that only let you call a couple of numbers for an emergency. It’s sounds like you are good parents & want the best for your daughter. You really need to sit down & have a serious talk with her though, before this situation gets any worse. I would suggest getting her involved in some activities. I know what it’s like & wish you the best. Our daughter is 17 & just got her driver’s license. Wait until you get there. lol. The kids at school are getting cars (Mercedes, Lexus, etc.) & she’s not. My husband is in charge of investigating fatal motor vehicle accidents, so you don’t have to wonder. lol. A girl in her school died in an accident & she hears her dad talk about teen accidents all the time. She would like a car & complains once in a while, but mostly she understands.
I’m sorry, but you’re daughter needs to learn to respect the items you buy her. She seems to be lacking respect for her belongings, and respect for herself.
Im 14 and almost 15, i’ve never done anything you listed above. It sounds as if she is purposely destroying what you buy her. I dont know what you should do, but my parents would take the phone away, and give it back after a good month away from it. You need to teach her about how her actions now can effect her life later (She can get arrested for being out at night, she could get raped, kidnapped, murdered,) and if she’s sending flirtatious messages, i’m really hoping she doesnt have picture messaging…… you get my point. The behaviors she is exhibiting are way beyond typical “Teen angst” I never fealt the need to sneak out of my house, act like a H*e, or destroy my own belongings. Maybe she should get some counseling, she could probably use guidance.
So the conversations with the boys, first a lot of girls have more guy friends than girl friends,but are the text really that suggestive? Or are they just a little joking around? If they are really that sexual, you should have a talk with her about sending that stuff. Then with the phones condition, make her pay for her new phone because if shes just going to let it get all beaten up, she should buy it herself.
You can place restrictions on the phone online, like cant send text after 10, calls after 11 pm, starts working again at 6 am.
And tell her she can get the restrictions lifted once she acts more responsible, but give her the phone back.
You extend her phone, (take it away from her) and tell her she can do whatever she wants to it, but she ISNT getting a new one. If she isn’t talking sexually, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking to multiple guys. Set limits to how late she can call (my 13yr old daughter is 9 pm. weekends I’m not sure. just whenever.) and she has plenty of guy friends. It could be innocent, it could not be. The best thing is to give her back her phone eventually, because shes gonna need it for an emergency. You never know. Tough situation, hope everything works out. ~Haley.
She is only 14, she should not be sneaking out of the house and her phone should not be busted up like it is! Im 16 and i have not snuck out of the house and i do not want to! You need to talk to her, maybe ground her for a week or something take the phone away until she is responsible enough to take care of it(either that or get her a cheap phone) Yes she has Diabetes but that does not mean she needs special treatment or anything just treat her like a normal kid! Im 16, and i have heart disease(aortic Stenosis, Aortic regurgitation, bicuspid aortic valve, enlarged aorta) and my parents treat me just like my siblings. Your daughter is 14, she is old enough to babysit so she should pay for her phone that she trashed, and for a new phone(dont buy it for her) Its ok for your daughter to talk to boys but she should not be sexual(not at 14! im not even sexual at 16!) you need to let your daughter grow up and be come responsible. I’ve bought my first phone in 7th grade with my own money, i pay for the bill, i bought my own car 2 months ago, i pay for gas, repairs, insurance ect. If there is something i WANT and do not NEED i buy it myself. i got a job right after i turned 15, then i got a chance to work somewhere better and get paid more so now im working at the new place. your daughter is not to young to have responsibility’s, so give them to her.
I am also 14. lol my mom asks questions about me,and I hate it.But that’s because she is too afraid to talk to me about it. You should talk to her about it to clear things up.
1st of all, shes really luck to have a nice phone, cuz I just got my mom’s old one. But hey!It workds just fine!
When My mom hid my phone, I realized that I don’t need it that bad. I just called friends on the house phone and talked to them at school.
I don’t think you should take her phone away completely, you should just let her know that there are rules and guidelines that have to be followed. Rules aren’t meant to make it less fun, they are just to keep her safe. You could always monitor her texts or something. Talk to her about it. Make her realize that texting guys isn’t always a good idea. If you think a guy is creepy to be talking to her, just block his number.
Whatever you choose, make sure to follow through.