Long story. My parents are both working people. They are both negative and mean folks who have been verbally abusive towards me all my life. They shouldn’t have been parents in the first place because they only care about themselves. They dumped me and my siblings on my grandparents while they both worked. My…
Put some distance between you and your toxic family and start growing a spine. You are allowing your parents to continue to abuse you verbally and emotionally. Why? If your father doesn’t feel like helping your child with his homework, let your parents know that while you’d like to help them clean house, your motherly duties are calling and you need to help your child with homework. Then leave!
I am a SAHM and what I do all day is MY business. Everybody gets to make their own choices and each choice comes with a price.
I am a stay at home mom and I don’t think I’m lazy. I take care of my home, cook three meals a day for my family, volunteer at my children’s school, help out my working sister, and run errands for my elderly parents. All this week I have been up before 6:00 and on my feet until around 5:00 volunteering — thank heavens for crock pots. After three and a half hours of home work, reading aloud to children, and chores to make sure everything is in place for the following morning, I spend another hour or so just reconnecting with my spouse. Then I fall asleep exhausted so I can start over again the following morning. Most of the stay at home moms I know are on the same treadmill of volunteering and taking care of their extended families. I put in more work than my sister who works outside the home. I have less free time and definitely less me time. I know not all SAHMs are on the go all the time, just like I know all working moms don’t have it easy. I feel that those women who are willing to bash stay at home moms are really just jealous and SAHMs who bash working moms have the same issues.
No, being a stay at home mom is just as hard as a traditional job. Being with your child 24/7 (on top of upkeeping your home) is exhausting. Not only is it a lot of physical labor (lifting and toting and omg getting out of the house in under and hour, lol), but it can be stressful not to have other adults to talk to for the majority of the day. It sounds like your parents are just using this as an excuse to nag at you. If I were you, I’d break all ties until they can act like human beings. Why don’t you move out? Do you have a husband or significant other? Do whatever you can to get out on your own–as rewarding as staying at home with your child is, it is impossible if you don’t have SOMEONE to pay the bills (NOT your parents). So you may have to consider getting a job just to get you and your son into a better living situation.
Edit: it was a little unclear whether you lived with your parents or not. I guess you don’t. So that makes it even easier to distance yourself from them.
Just say this to them next time .
So you ask… Do I work? Uh yes 30hrs a week, PLUS I work 24 hours a day, why? Because I am a Mommy, I am an alarm clock, a cook, a maid, a teacher, a nanny, a nurse, a handyman, a security officer, a photographer, a counselor, a chauffeur, an ATM, a jungle gym and a comforter. I don’t get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY and NIGHT. I am on call at ALL HOURS.
Being a mom is a full time job .
My advice…set strict boundaries with your parents—even if it means detaching from them, heal your emotional wounds to end your bitterness toward your parents and make your life happier with the choices YOU think are best for you and your children. Your parents and sis must live with their bad choices, but YOU don’t have to live with their bad choices. Let go of THEIR and your anguish. End the chaos! Then you may care better for yourself and your children (I had to do that).
In response to the mom who works outside the home and became defensive about your comments on “dumping” children on others: One of the reasons our great nation is going to hell is because of the tragic deterioration of the family unit and individuals’ character. Too many of our youth behave like self-centered, superficial, mindless idiots with no moral compass or integrity, and I believe this is partially caused by too many moms working outside the home. Many parents compromise their responsibility to their children by working outside the home so they have $ for big cars, home and meaningless, frivolous privileges and toys. How can our children possibly thrive and grow into honorable, successful individuals if they are not properly cared for and taught critical values at home?
Thank God I may be a SAHM who homeschools my children…the toughest, most selfless and rewarding job in the world!!!
Tell ’em to shove it.
My family is very similar (except they’re mostly druggies… who ironically only respect those who are top-earner career types). I dropped college to be a mother. And I am VERY proud to say that I am homeschooling and raising my son myself, instead of allowing daycare workers to influence and raise my own.
I moved far away from them and dont see them much anymore.. its sooo much better this way!
At the end of my life, on my death bed, I doubt that I will ever regret not having a great “career” lol
My advice? Quit worrying about what they think and do what you feel is right for YOUR children. If they are a negative in your life, then limit their influence in your life. Keep phone calls and visits to a minimum and if things turn negative, end it.
Also, I advise you quit judging your sister. She has the right to do what she wants with her life without judgement from you, just as you have the right to do so without judgement from her or anyone else.
If you are still living at home, move out- ASAP.
I’m a working mother and I know for a fact I have never tried to put a guilt trip on you for staying at home with your kid. So way to make sweeping generalizations and be offensive to every working mother here. *I* am raising my daughter, by working hard to provide for her and making the most of the time we get together, thank you very much. I am certainly not a verbally abusive, depressed basket case like your mother.
◦Child Day Care Worker – $20,259
◦Teacher – $44,824
◦Taxi Driver – $27,346
◦Facilities Manager – $73,239
◦Short-order Cook – $27,477
◦Laundry Attendant – $17,917
◦Janitor – $22,440
◦Counselor – $27,638
◦CEO – $545,268
◦Administrative Assistant III – $37,143
◦Accounting Clerk III – $34,842
◦Licensed Practical Nurse – $38,111
◦Plumber I – $33,155
◦Automotive Mechanic I – $30,725
◦Cake Decorator – $21,340
If you were getting paid for all the work you do as a SAHM, your annual income would be over $130,000.
“At least I don’t dump my children on someone else to raise like my parents did me. I’m always there for my children. ”
Wow. you ARE a product of a dysfunctional family. I see no shame in “dumping children on someone else” so they can work. What’s the shame in working for a living? Wow.
I agree that being a SAHM is a full-time job, but so is being a working mom. It’s TWO full time jobs.
Your question is NOT about a dysfunctional family, its about bashing working mothers.
“Any advice on how to deal with a dysfunctional family?” Yes. Avoid them.