Husbands & Wives Poll: why is it WRONG to date a married person if they are separated & live independently?

I’m dating a MM & this is my life. I’m not a mean person. I just thought it was ok from my own experience with my ex husband. Once we decided to live apart and work out our assets which was a year before we even divorced. I did not care that he dated yet others are so harsh to me it sometimes hurt.


IF there is absolutely no chance for the two of them to reconcile, then I don’t see anything wrong with it. They have chosen to live separate lives without divorcing (for whatever reason that may be). It is when that man is still married and living with his wife/family and pretending to be happily married man and getting some on the side, that things start to get a bit different.

Dating a separated man can be different from dating a fully married man, if they have an agreement to date other people during their separation. But I will still tell you that it’s not a good idea. They are separated, not divorced. If divorce paperwork has not been filed, then they are not “done” yet. There is a chance they could get back together, that’s the purpose of separating, to figure out if you can make your marriage work or not. Therefore, he is not “free”, and he is not your man until he is. Not to mention he might be on the rebound and just using you out of loneliness or lack of sex with his wife.

well they are STILL married [not shouting just emphasizing ]
often times they are still married cause they really don’t want to be divorced from each other and a lot of them go back to each other leaving the hopeful new person hurt.
If they were divorced you’d have a better chance of building a relationship without the worry of a reconciliation between the separated couple. There not quite free just yet.

Because it still constitutes infidelity. Unless they have documents making them legally separated in the eyes of the law, which permits them to be with other people, a lot of people still view it as wrong. Besides, why not just go get a divorce? I don’t understand why they stay married if they’re unhappy to the point of living apart. Divorces are super cheap if you both agree on who gets what; you don’t even need an attorney.

I guess it’s wrong because there have been couples who are actually working on their marriage when they separate and live independently. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt by other’s comments. Hopefully you’re in a similar situation to the one you were in before, but in a different role.
Personally, I’d be concerned that I was a rebound, that they said they’d work on thing, that I was dating someone who might cheat on me (statistics show it happens), or . . . probably a lot more things if I thought about it, which I would if it were me.
Good luck.

There is nothing wrong with what your doing ! im “married” but have been separated for 3 years and dating the same guy for the last 2 years. im working on my divorce its just taking longer then i thought.

It is just unhealthy. You should be free of your old relationships completely before starting a new one. Let him close the book on that chapter so you know he is into you and not preoccupied. If you happen to fall for him and he is still married then it only causes more pain. You’ve been divorced. You know the pain.

I don’t know why some people think it’s wrong. I think once the marriage is unworkable and you are living separately it’s fine to date. I think it’s dangerous to get too emotionally involved, simply because they could decide to work it out and then you are the one that ends up hurt.

I don’t see a problem with this! Of course during my separation and divorce both my ex and I dated others. And I am currently dating and very much in love w/ a “married” man that is separated and divorcing.

It’s your life….so if you don’t think it’s wrong then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. No one should judge you and the decisions you make in your life because it’s none of their business.

I would be careful though…..unless you are sure him and his wife are getting a divorce there’s a slim chance they might get back together.

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