I have suspected my boyfriend to be gay/bi for the last few monts. i worked up the courage to finally ask him straight up if he was gay. he said “i’m not easy to categorize. i asked him what the hell that meant and he just kept saying how he has never been easy to categorize and then he just left. i’m…
I suggest you sit down and talk to him. I does sound like he may very well be questioning himself and his sexuality right now. One question I would ask him “have you been with a man?” if he answers yes, ask when.
If he say anything to indicate to you he is bi-sexual or gay then you need time to think abotu what you can handle. Chances are if he is bi-sexual he is going to cheat. Bi-sexuals typically are not happy being with just one sex. They want both.
However, do yourself a favor. Make sure you make no rash decissions. Give yoursefl the time to think, and don’t be afraid to ask questions of him. If he can’t answer the question, then he’s not being honest with you, and would you want to be with someone who’s not honest with you and willing to answer your questions? Last never just throw a way a relationship, they take work. Just also don’t be afraid to walk away and find what you need.
He sounds like my ex husband. He wasn’t gay yet due to his own confusion he tried a few times to mess around sexually with men. He has a trans-gender issue, which is essentially that he feels like he is a woman on the inside yet a man on the outside. Or, as I think of it – he is a lesbian trapped in a mans body.
Don’t try to organize it in your mind as these things are complicated.
Your boyfriend probably loves you a great deal and isn’t clear in his own mind about his situation. I think if he were actually gay, he would tell you he was. Do some research on Trans-gender people – keep an open mind – your boyfriend has no control over how he is and he is likely very scared of loosing you.
I know exactly what he mean. Some people are attracted to both sexes;however, they don’t want to be classified as gay or bi. It’s perfectly normal and I personally respect that. It normally happens when they know they can develop feeling for a guy or a girl. All it means it’s that if you’re a great girls and he likes or loves you. Samething can happen if he had met a great guy. He only cares about whats inside that’s why gender doesn’t matter. Personally, I doubt he would cheat just because of a physical attraction. there are some guys-for example- that can fall in love with girls, but just like men for sex. There are those that can fall in love with both. It does not mean that they want to be girls. They happy that they are man and they want to be man. Oh, I can go on forever, but I stop here.
Definately Bi. A lot of people are afraid of labels, hence the “not easy to catagorize,” but that really means he’s queer. Queer is a good umbrella term that doesn’t go into specifics. He thinks other guys are hot, but due to the pervasive homophobia in society, especially among straight guys, he doesn’t want to call himself bi. If he gets defensive about it, I wouldn’t press the issue, but let him know that you aren’t threatened by it and it’s ok by you if he likes guys too. Make sure he knows you don’t think he is any less manly for it. You two can talk about hot guys together. I’m jealous.
men… so sensetive… *rolls eyes*
What he meant was that its difficult for someone to say under which category he’s really under…
it can only be linked to bisexuality..im telling u gurl…u dont want a guy that doesnt have a straight answer when it comes to a question like this…
if he was straight he would be quite curious for why u would think such a thing…so what does that tell you?
what he’s really tryin to say is that he has part of both (gay and straight) in him and so thats what makes so difficult for someone to say what he really is and so its not easy to categorize him…get it?
Well if he was completely straight, he would have just said that he was straight. I think that he is probably bi, and is not yet comfortable with himself the way he is and is probably trying to hide it from himself. Or he may be using your relationship as a cover because he doesn’t want anyone to know about his sexual tendencies. I would take the situation slowly slowly and tell him that it doesn’t matter to you if he is bi. If he feels close enough to you he will tell you whats going on inside his mind…good luck 🙂
This is what men say when they haven’t become comfortable with sharing their true sexuality yet. In other words he’s in the closet, but you know this already. This is almost verbatim what one of my good friend used to say to people before he came out. He even had a girlfriend and they had sex. Then he fell hard in love with a beautiful young man. They are no longer together but he went on to another same sex relationship and I don’t expect he will ever be in another heterosexual relationship again. Despite the fact that he still claims he likes to have emotional relationships with women and sexual relationships with men he has been exclusively emotionally involved with men since I have known him. Yes you’re boyfriend probably is gay.
He’s either gay or bi. If he were straight, he would have told you so. Guys are just that way. You need to start seriously thinking about whether you want a gay/bi boyfriend. It may not be a big deal to you now, but men who engage in homosexual sex are five times more likely to contract HIV than their heterosexual counterparts. Just food for thought…
I would say if he wouldn’t give you a straight up answer to such a straight up answer he’s not sure how you will take what he says or he finds it appaling that you would ask him.
So I would sit him down and explain why you asked him and how you would feel if he were gay/bi and that he has no reason to not trust you. And of course people can be bi-curious, which could be the reason he isn’t sure what to say.
Just ask.. If he is Bi this will give him an opportunity to explain himself to you. Then you can decide if you want to continue the relationship. If he is Bi then this is what my expierience has been. My exboyfriend cheated on me with his ex-wife. What a mess he was Bi-sexual but told me he would be true only to me. That was a lie. It must me hard for Bi-sexuals to be in a relationship, at least it was for him becuase he wanted to have his cake and eat it too.