My “date” got upset because I refused to sleep with him! And now he wants me to pay him for dinner. WTF?
Am I the only one out there that doesn’t “put myself out there” like that???
Good for you…even if I had the desire to have sex with someone on a first date, if I thought he “expected” it, I’d be sure to disappoint him.
You don’t owe him for dinner and he had no right to have ANY expectations of you other than you honoring your word to join him on a date.
That’s his bad for not letting you know he really only wanted sex…nothing wrong with that, but he failed to make that clear so shouldn’t be at all surprised that he didn’t get what he wanted.
I dont think it should be expected, but if the attraction is there and BOTH OF YOU are mature enough to handle that type of situation I say go for it. Now as far as him asking you to pay him for dinner, that was just a b***h move and shouldn’t be viewed as the norm among all men because it’s not. That dude was just mad you didn’t wanna get down with him like that and instead of repecting your decison he went on the offense and did some childish immature BS. In my opinion he putting a black eye in the game for other men. I hope his actions dont leave you ladies with a bad outlook on the fellas, cause like I said before his actions are not the norm. By the way don’t pay him or feel like you have to do anything you dont want to due to pressure, and if he calls again let him know why you dont mess with him anymore, because that just might help him with thought process on how to treat women…..maybe? Good Luck!
Here’s the deal–lots of young women are still figuring out what it is to be an adult woman in today’s world. They know they want to be treated like full adults rather than children or pets and yet there is something simultaneously appealing about being cared for and even doted on a little bit. This seems to create something of a disconnect for some women, and therefore, in their interactions with men. Some people also feel apologetic about their real feelings because they don’t jive with their stated worldview. That aside, I can only offer my own person views on the subject as a 40-something woman. I want an equal chance at my job and generally in life. I don’t expect to be unable to purchase a home because I am a woman, I expect to be able to get my car fixed without being robbed because I’m not a guy, I expect that my male counterpart and I are paid the same wage for doing the same job. In the ways that I’m approached/dealt with in public life, I expect to be treated as well as any other customer/patient. etc even though I am a woman. In my love life, I expect to be treated differently from everyone else by the man I am with. The significant person in your life should WANT TO treat you better then some nameless stranger he may encounter in the bank lobby or in line at the market. Often times, people who are dating and getting to know one another go to restaurants. If he doesn’t feel like I am special enough to treat me while on a date he asked for, then I am no different to him than any other diner in the restaurant, and I AM different-at least to him I should be–you would think. If he can’t spring for dinner, he’s either cheap or not interested in treating me like I’m very special-either way, why would I want to date either of those men? I wouldn’t. That is not to say the man is a gravy train. I think both people should be treating their partner like the are very special and do what they can for each other-both of them. My husband is a happy man, and I am a happy wife because we understand and remember that for each other, we are truly special. If you want to keep love, you can’t keep score.
Been there! He put me out of his car After I refused..I lucked out and my Play brother saw me and picked me up and took me home…He and my Dad had a few manly words with him too. Pervert.
Oh, Yuk Yuk, he’s a Nasty little Buzzard! Ladies, when Dating, Make Sure that it is Not a Caveman you are wasting your time with. They are inclined to beat you over the head with a Club and drag you off to his cave.
This one you when out with is a Lesson learned. Never ride in their vehicles on a first date and go Dutch. That way you Can give him the Vapors at will. Give the Cheap Trick his money for your 1/2 of dinner and Make sure he Never Dials your digits ever again and make it Plain. After that Dial 911 for Trog, they are a little better at expressing your wishes.
Well some girls that dont know any better or have low self esteem…May feel pressured to “do it” just to keep that guy…And some guys believe if they wine and dine a woman, that payment for a “DINNER and A NIGHT OUT” deseveres to be paid back with sex from that woman…If he is believing that its because of the women that he had before have shown this to him or its just the way he was taught.
But stick to your guns girl…Dont let no man believe that if he spends money on you he can do whatever with you. And no youre not the only one that doesnt put yourself out there. The crazy part is that sometimes you have to let them know before you even get as far as going out that youre not intending on have sex with him…So that you can weed them out from the start…Stay Focused
Wow what…a…LOSER!!! I don’t do that either, you don’t owe him anything. That’s his bad. Mostly these days all the boys want is sex. That’s why they try to act all sweet and innocent and then when they finally think they have you where they want you they try and make there first move. You didnt do anything wrong and I’m sure everyone is proud of you. Don’t pay him for anything. If I were you personally I would be kicking his a** right about now. Can you help me with my question?
I was in the same situation not too long ago, this guy had begged me to date him for months, so I finally gave in and he dumped me after two dates because I wouldn’t sleep with him! It was really ridiculous, and no I wouldn’t pay for dinner, it’ll teach him a lesson, you’re better off without him, cause there are better guys out there trust me :]
It’s never been expected as a general rule by anyone except people who only think with their base emotions and they also have absolutely no regard for what the other person feels, cares for or desires.
I would not give him a penny simply because he is a slob. Just my 2 cents
That’s really sad! I don’t understand how somebody can be that stupid, toss him back in the sea! And for what it’s worth, I wish I would give it up on the first date! No thank you, I’ll pass! No more groupies for me, I’d rather do my homework, I need something classy! 😉 lol, no but if you look back into that sea where you found that piece of crap, there’s a juicy one, right under your nose! Take Care! and Be Careful!:)
Girl what were you thinking when you hooked up with that fool??? I don’t put out on the first date either, but to expect you to pay for dinner because you didn’t? You should have called me. I would have taken care of him, lol!