I can’t go one day without someone talking about it. Whether its about having lots of sex, some random and glorious quest for p*ssy, or when they lost their virginity, it’s driving me insane. I’m 19, and a sophomore in college. I’m also a virgin. After you’re done pointing and laughing, feel…
I can promise you that you are not the only male virgin on campus. You should feel proud that you have standards and that you respect yourself enough to wait for someone who’s worth it. Your friends will grow out of this phase soon enough, hopefully without STDs or children. Your attitude about sex is just a sign of maturity. Also, take their stories with a grain of salt. Lots of guys (and girls) seriously exaggerate their sexual prowess.
College is freedom, being away from your parents and do whatever you want to do. Being able to eat cold pizza at 3am, drink as much as you want and have sex whichever way you want it. Students will do those things. They will have sex with the first hottie they meet at a party and move on without even caring for the person. Some do it without having any regrets. Does it mean you have to do it too, even though it isn’t your comfort zone?
You sound mature about sex and what it entails, but you are under peer pressure and it seems to make things more confusing for you. Know what makes you comfortable, know what you want and be confident about your choices. If you really want to lose it NOW and be able to feel less left out when your friends talk about sex or just finally have the gratification, without having regrets because you rushed it….then do it. If you want to have it with somebody who means something to you, somebody who respects your choice of waiting etc…it’s your choice too. Either way, be confident about your choice even if the fear/doubts that come with choosing (i.e. you are going to loose it in the most pathetic way), but pick what makes you comfortable.
You don’t have to like everything about your friends and that is the point, friends take the good and the bad side. I am sorry you feel that way. What to do? I don’t know. Nothing wrong with thinking about sex every day, it’s what you do beyond the thought that matters.
It’s just one of the stepping stones to adulthood, like getting your license. Or at least it’s treated as such. Don’t stress. Everything has a season. Chances are your first experience will be so awkward you won’t think to fondly of it.
But sex always means more when it’s with someone you care about. So I can see why you’re holding out for that.
if you’re feeling really desperate, just get some chick to blow you.
keep it safe though. Avoid the skanks.
hi! this is how i’ve got self belief too. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that, i’m basically a freshman in highschool, I certainly have a boyfriend this is a junior ( he’s 17, i’m 15) we’ve popular eachother for a mutually as, and we like eachother. He desires to have intercourse, i do no longer, no longer yet, and respects that. I”m nonetheless a virgin, and that i’m no longer waiting yet. i think of there is not any specific age, as you notice from a number of those distinctive solutions, basically for once you sense waiting.
That is a very interesting question, and being I’m one of the types you refer to who has gone out and had all sorts of escapades and one night stands, I think I could probably answer it pretty good, and hopefully give some insight to our point of view.
First of all, I think the reason people talk about sex so much is its something that 99% of people enjoy and relate to. Its not like baseball, or snowboarding, or painting or something that only a few people do. Its one of those things that 99% of people have in common as a very enjoyable thing. The fact that for guys it can be challenging makes them a good story. Like having sex with 3 girls in one day, or having sex with a girl at a party 20 minutes after meeting her. Those are rare situations that people like to talk about and hear, almost like football fans would enjoy talking about a 100 yard touchdown.
Also since sex is a private act, there can be many funny stories about being walked in on, or something awkward that happened, they end up very funny stories, that most people can relate to. Even if it hasn’t happened to them, they can imagine it happening to them.
Now back on subject of the first part of your question, why virginity loss seems so important at 18. I think its because by that age many people have lost it or are in the process of getting close to loosing it. So its on their mind alot, and its something somewhat new to you at that age so its on your mind alot. Not to mention its such an enjoyable act that brings them so much pleasure, I think any non virgin, does not want to even think back to the time they were a virgin.
My point of view is that of most men you talk about. I think 99% of men are pretty much programmed by nature to want as much sex as possible. I lost my virginity at the first chance I got. I did not care about the girl at all, she was just the first to give it up, but I was plenty happy and glad I did it. I would never give up an opportunity as long as I’m single and its with a good looking woman, I’d go out and find as much as I can. I understand the desire to want someone you love, but that can come down the road. In the meantime, why hold out on yourself? I’ve been with what most guys consider a very large number of women, and didn’t really care for many of them. That’s just the way most guys brains are programmed. Yours might be different, but most are like that. At the moment I am in a committed relationship, but the way I found it was pretty much by banging many women and finally one came by that I started liking better than the rest. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like simply holding out for that one, I would have missed so many good times. That pretty much touches on your question of “since when is it wrong to want more than instant gratification”. Well I think its not wrong to want more, its just takes a long time to find more. So while I’m waiting for that loving relationship to come along in a year or two, why not spend the time inbetween getting all sorts of instant gratification?
You know, one of the reasons I answered this question. In fact the biggest reason. I’m very curious to hear what your side is, as to why you think the way you do, and why you want to hold out. If you could send me a message on here, or add additional details, or whatever you can do to let me know I’d very much like to hear about why you feel the way you do? As well as your opinions and views of what I’ve said. I really am curious, I hope this doesn’t sound insulting or anything, because its not, I’d really like to know. Because for me, it simply does not even register in my brain why any 19 year old guy would turn down any opportunity for sex (as long as its with a good looking girl of course), and I’d really like to know what you think you’ll gain by waiting, or why you think its important.
Hey, thanks for responding with the additional details. I wonder why that girlfriend of yours didn’t want to have sex? Whatever reason, I think its good you didn’t cheat on your girlfriend, since I think faithfullness is important. I know exactly what you mean though, having a girlfriend now I’ve had to turn down some pretty awesome opportunities. They always seem to find you when you have a GF.
Yeah, I think most people would agree that the “first” time is highly unlikely to be anything at all like a fairy tale. Its probably likely to be a little thing in a dorm room, or apartment, or someplace hidden where you fool around and learn the basics. Other than the fact that it is your first time, its probably likely to be pretty forgettable, and not much different than your second or third time, etc. However, just because the “first” time isn’t likely to be anything fancy, theres plenty of time to get creative down the road. I’ve done the deed in lots of very memorable, or as you say, almost fairy tale like ways, that I’ll never forget. However definetly none of those happened anywhere near my first few times.
Anyways, good luck to you, hope it helped. If you need anything else, any pickup tips or anything, feel free to contact me (I’m pretty sure theres some way to click my profile and send a message, not sure how, but people have done it before). Have a good one.